Shared Custody Dogs (& Other Animals)

               

               It might sound like a joke, but it's not.  Pets are a part of the family and a growing number of divorce cases involve custody of a family pet.  Just as the kids go back and forth, so too Bruno, the family dog, might travel between households.  I'm not going to say that mom and dad love the dog as much as they love the kids, but the dog is loved and the dog gives love and comfort, which can be very helpful in easing the stress and emotional pain that comes with most divorces.  

               Not only do the family pets help spread the love, but they also represent consistency and can function sort of like a security blanket from the past -- embodying fond memories of the pre-divorce household.  Moving between mom's house and dad's house might feel strange and new to the children at first and having the family dog with them lends a familiar aspect to the new household.  The routine of taking Bruno out for business, scooping Bruno's kibble, and scratching Bruno's ears helps bring something "old and known" into the new household. 

               Even in the absence of human children, sharing a pet can make sense when both "parents" have strong relationships with the beloved animal.  Most people love their pets and have strong bonds with them -- why else put up with fleas and mud on the carpet??  A breakup between the "parents" doesn't mean they stopped loving the dog....

               In any shared custody situation it is good to have a set arrangement -- an agreed upon, written, schedule lets everyone know what the "rules of play" are.  Some tips to get started:

• Determine if both parents want -- and can have Bruno -- in their home
• Think about any special needs that Bruno might have -- i.e., is the dog old, does he need unfettered yard access, can he do stairs, etc.
• It can work really well if the family pet is on the same schedule as the children -- when Jimmy and Judy leave mom's house for dad's, Bruno goes with them
• Decide how veterinary care will be paid for, both routine and emergency or extraordinary expenses

               In California pets are not covered by the family code sections that govern custody of children, nor are they strictly "property" as they used to be characterized.  For example, Family Code section 6320(b) provides that the court may grant a protective order that includes a pet. 

               Just like other issues that arise when there is a family breakup, if possible it is best for everyone to strive for amicability and cooperation instead of fighting.  When it comes to custody of Bruno, if you and your ex can't come to an agreement, maybe it's best to find a new dog....